PopTarts
I just left Kroger’s with some small purchases. While I was in there I decided I wanted some Pop-Tarts...also, Kroger’s had a good sale on them. I start down the aisle and make it about half way down before I realize I shouldn’t have gone down there.
In front of me are two of the largest women I have ever seen with about 6 children each are blocking the aisle. I turn to get out of the aisle and there is another beast behind me with her own litter of puppies.
I maneuvered through the first lady in front of me and get my Pop-Tarts. Next, there is only one behemoth left in the aisle and I am outta there...but no, she's manhandling her kids with one hand and talking on a cell phone with the other. While all of this is happening, she is also blocking the exit from the aisle with her cart.
"Excuse me," I say. She doesn’t hear me, or is just plain ignoring me. I figure she is ignoring me because she looks like that type of person: ghetto, pissed at everybody, feels the world owes her something. I guess she figured she would take her little slice of the world by ignoring my polite request.
"Excuse me," I say again. This time I know she hears me because she gives me a dirty look...as if to say "fuck you, white boy...I is stayin."
Finally, after this split second showdown of sorts, she continues to talk on her cell phone...telling whoever is on the other end "some asshole axed me to get the eff out of the way....no, he say "excuse me" but fuck him."
Finally, I am getting a bit steamed. I clear my throat and say...
"I have asked you twice in a nice manner to move so that I may leave the aisle. Please get out of my way, you fat inconsiderate slob, I want to leave."
She stares at me with her jaw on the ground...the cell phone is idle in her slack arm and hand. It’s evident that she has never been talked to this way and is used to getting her way by bullying whoever is in her path. She moves her cart with a few sharp tugs and the dirty look on her face is priceless.
I would have dropped it at that, but as I am getting out of the aisle with my cart of purchases, she utters "muthafucka" at me under her breath.
I quickly turned to her and let her have it...
"Oh yeah, that’s right...it’s the first of the month...this place is like an amusement park for you isn’t it?"
Note: in response to the many people who asked, I purchased the frosted brown sugar and cinnamon flavored type of Pop-Tarts.
