Rage From the Edge

Homemade Salsa - My Way

Remember that time I told you I would type out some recipes? Well, that was five minutes ago in my time and it might be a few seconds ago depending on when you read this chapter. I wracked my brain for my favorite recipe and (with my friend’s approval) I decided to give out one of my most precious secrets…my fresh salsa recipe. This salsa isn’t like the crap you get in a jar, and I have been told by people that once they have tried my salsa, they are forever ruined from eating jar salsa. I don’t know if I agree with them, I think that jarred salsa has it’s place…it’s far easier than homemade stuff and I think it is tasty anyways.

But this salsa, the homemade stuff, is a magical concoction. The recipe goes back hundreds of years and was passed down to me through my grandmother…who whispered the ingredients into my ear as she lay on her deathbed. Not really, I came up with it myself one day when I was putting together a display of fresh tomatoes. I mentioned to my co-worker that they looked pretty good and that I thought I was going to buy some. He agreed and told me that he was also going to buy some and then he was going to make salsa. I was young, probably 17 or 18 and I had never heard of such a thing before. Naturally, I was very curious about how to make the stuff so I asked. He gave me a list of items to buy and then told me to chop everything up. Also, he told me to experiment with peppers to find what kind of temperature I would like. As it turns out, I didn’t like using hot peppers as much as I thought I would. If you read Chapter six, you know how I feel about hot foods, but this is different. When I added peppers to my salsa, it just never tasted right. Also, the kids wouldn’t eat it, so I took to making the salsa separately and then adding some hot sauce to the mix afterwards according to who would be eating it.

So there I was, standing in front of a tiny cutting board with a sub-standard knife in my hand. I had a pile of vegetables and spices I had no idea what to do with…so I started chopping. And that is what you should do too, so without further ado, here is the list of crap you need to buy:

Dan’s Salsa

·Six whole Roma tomatoes (they may call them plum tomatoes in your area)
·One full stalk of celery
·One large sweet onion (I like to use Vidalia onions)
·One bunch of cilantro (check this by smell, you don’t want to buy flat parsley by mistake)
·One green bell pepper
·One yellow bell pepper
·One orange bell pepper (all of these are just for color, if you want, just use three green bell peppers)
·One jalapeño pepper
·Two 16-ounce cans of plain diced tomatoes. Don’t use the doctored type of diced tomatoes; we are going to be spicing the salsa ourselves
·Six large cloves of garlic
·The juice of one lemon
·The juice of one lime
·Salt and pepper

Take all of the vegetables and chop them up so that they are about a quarter inch square. You really don’t need to do this that drastically, but I do it. put everything into a big pot, this recipe makes about a gallon of salsa, so make sure you have a big enough pot…I use a 6 quart soup pot. Mince your garlic and add that. Cut your cilantro as fine as you can and add that. Some people don’t like cilantro evident in their food, but I do, so I cut it somewhat large. Juice the lemon and the lime and be careful not to let the seeds get in your salsa. add the cans of diced tomato last. Depending on how juicy the mix is, you may want to drain the diced tomatoes. If you like your salsa with a lot of liquid in it like I do, then just toss both cans in without draining them. A note about the bell peppers: I put some of their seeds into the salsa because it gives the salsa a bit of “authenticity.” Let this whole mess stand covered on a counter top for about an hour to let the lemon and lime juices “cook” the softer veggies. Salt and pepper everything according to taste and if you like some zip, add about six big dashes of hot sauce to the mix. Stir everything very vigorously every fifteen minutes to keep the “cooking” going. After about an hour, your salsa should be done and ready to enjoy.

I usually just eat it with store bought chips, but you can make your own tortillas if you like. Take a pack of pre-made ones and bake them in the oven until they begin to turn brown.

Once everything is done and thoroughly mixed in the pot and it has had time to sit, eat as much of it as you can and then put it away. Since there are a lot of veggies in this that are breaking down due to the acidity of the lemons, limes and tomatoes, the mix will get old fast. Because this is such an expensive mix, you want to get it into the fridge as soon as you are done eating because it will go bad very quickly.

There are several variations on this salsa. some people like to make it with mangos and some people like to add roasted corn to it. It’s okay to do it that way I guess, but I am one of those types that just likes the original. Grandmother would be proud.